To begin to deconstruct one’s own state of mind, one’s own process of thinking. Can be started by dwelling and becoming sullen within emotional, psychological, and social complexities often dubbed “modern” or “postmodern” Such dwelling will almost surely end in non-ending, excruciating inner pain These feelings can be masked repeatedly by objects: proof of...
what i might see
from this perspective, from this angle, on this perch, things are much different than they were before. lifted away from problems, and answers, and decisions, and the making of all of those things. up here, everything seems so unclear, blurry, as if there was water streaming across my head towards my eyes, down my chin, dripping, falling, closer and closer to the ground. I’m close enough...
fluttering. lots and lots of fluttering. intersecting images about what i was supposed to think, what i was supposed to say, what all of those thoughts and those words are supposed to mean. and what i should perceive about the meaning. all just fixed notions to beats and frequencies that dont have names or words or prefixes or grammar rules or spelling errors. just me, you, them, and what we all...
Blurring boundaries between my heart and the hands that guide my head. Running running running, so fast now, so much faster then. To feel like you are standing at the peak of a cliff on top of the worlds largest pile of self-created shit. You look below, ready to jump in to all that you had climbed from. Startled, the motions stop, you begin to sway. You begin to say: these are the things that...
I faltered. I stumbled, Maybe only swayed a bit, not so much that you could see, but enough to make you turn your head and glance to the side with a look on your face that resembled love or maybe fear, between the two was your nose all crinkled and smooshed against what may have been glass, more likely an invisible wall that i will break down eventually with the mallet that has been clenched in my...
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are...– Marianne Williamson (via stayinthelightco)
Maybe I am over thinking, creating, fabricating memories out of distant thoughts about some kind of future things that creep viscerally like stuff full of blood and rushing beats of my tightened up heart. It hurts trying to think about not circulating around my behaviors of self consumed consumption about massive details so big that they blind you, from me. I just wonder if all of these swooshing...
Lived experience can never be stolen. Rilke said that. Your life experience, even your childhood, is the biggest treasure you have. You can dig into it, and nobody is going to take that away from you. -Ahmed Alsoudani in an interview featured in Art in America
2011: A Year Behind Us
I sit inside my mind, entering a new meadow of problems. Attempting to fill up all of the tiny holes that were blasted out of my ego. Wondering whether to turn left or to turn right, but entirely content with the feeling that neither is falling down, spiraling out of control. For it can be said, and would be entirely true, that I was ready to let go, and would have had few gripes about not...